Why Defining Your Why Can Make or Break Your Job Interview

Why Defining Your Why Can Make or Break Your Job Interview Candice Miles, a Strategic Account Executive at TEKsystems, cannot overemphasize the importance of having a plan of attack no matter the size of the task at hand. She loves that zu sich job affords her time to mentor and collaborate with her team members, and that relationsist der / die neue )-building is a priority at her company in turn, she explains, this creates a culture of motivation, support, accountability, and growth.TEKsystems is Hiring Browse OpportunitiesShe recently shared with Fairygodboss what she excels at, where shes trying to improve, and her 1 tip for job seekers (which is one youll definitely want to read before your next interview).How long have you been in your current role, and what were you doing previously?Ive been a lead account executive in our strategic accounts program for close to three years. Prior to this role, I was in our account management role supporting various customers.Whats the last th ing you do at work every day?At the end of each day/evening, I try to prioritize the following day with the top tasks and activities that need to be accomplished based upon time sensitivity and complexity. I dont succeed in preparing for the following day each day, but Ive learned the importance of having a plan of attack no matter the size of the task at hand.Whats the fruchtwein unique or interesting aspect of your company?I believe the most unique aspect of our company is our culture. As clich as it may sound, we have an environment that requires a high degree of push in areas ranging from relationship-building to customer and client knowledge and satisfaction. This in turn creates a culture of motivation, support, accountability, and growth.Whats something you think most people (perhaps even current employees) dont know about your company that you think they should?It requires a higher degree of emotional intelligence and mental gymnastics than one would presume. In working wit h professionals in the ever-changing technology domain, you are consistently expected to learn their wants, desires, goals, etc. while also staying abreast of trends impacting the executives within the industries and businesses that they service. This means that you need to be a bit of everything to everybody including yourself.Whats something youre especially good at at work?I believe Im good at providing alternative perspectives and solutions to the status quo. While I believe there is truth and merit to not fixing something that isnt broken, I dont believe in complacency over discomfort. Thus, Im always considering new ways of accomplishing goals and fighting the good fight as it pertains to voicing a necessary but sometimes unfavorable truth.What about outside of work?Traveling. Dancing (for the most part). Container gardening. Serving as an unlicensed but tough and caring counselor for friends and family.What are you trying to improve on?Situational leadership and meeting peo ple where they are. Its funny, as I fully understand and believe that being patient with the process (whatever the process may be) while balancing a sense of urgency will yield success. That said, great friends and business partners have had tough conversations with me regarding how I can be both wonderfully skilled and terribly unskilled at this very task depending upon the situation. Self-awareness and self-improvement are wild but enjoyable journeys to partake inWhats your favorite mistake?This is an ongoing one, but even with my GPS activated, Ill find a way to make a wrong turn during some form of a commute. Even if it makes me late, I try to find the good in discovering an area within a community or town that Ive never seen before.Whats the one career move youve made that youre most proud of?The position that Im in currently has allowed me to focus on beratung and partnering with team members while also continuing a focus upon my passion of client engagement and discovery. It also exposes me to a diverse customer base (industries, geographies, etc.), which in turn aids me in staying fresh and relevant in my craft.What do you love most about your job or your company?How intimately Im able to see into other organizations, their companys personality their strategic initiatives, their talent engagement strategies, etc. And in turn, how Im able to share and disseminate those bits of information and play matchmaker for the benefit of all parties.What are you currently reading/watching/listening to?Reading Algorithms of Oppression How Search Engines Reinforce RacismWatching Hard Sun on HuluListening Spotify playlist of a number of genres of music (RB, Soca, ambient, pop, hip hop, alternative, rock, etc.)Whats your 1 piece of advice for women who are looking for jobs right now?Know who you are by knowing what you do well, what makes you tick, what makes you cringe, and what makes you light up. Having a sense each of those topics can aid you in understanding or f urther defining your why. This in turn can allow your authentic self to shine through throughout the interviewing process, which should resonate with the employers that are truly meant for you.Who is/was the most influential person in your life and why?Its a tie for my mother and father. My mother passed away when I was 17, but I cherish every memory of her and life lesson she taught me. My father continues to serve as my friend, mentor, business adviser, fellow witty jokester, and so much more. I am beyond thankful for both of them and their influence on the person that I am today.What was the best quality of the best boss youve ever had?The best quality is a combination of compassion and accountability. When you have a boss that truly cares about your personal and professional well-being and growth, you have a support system and platform to strive for goals you may have once thought were unattainable.--Fairygodboss is proud to partner with TEKsystems. Find a job there today

What You Should Do to Find Out About Good Resume Writing Com Before Youre Left Behind

What You Should Do to Find Out About Good Resume Writing Com Before Youre Left Behind Meanwhile, here are ur very best practices to follow when it has to do with formatting your resume. Write your resume with the proper format-Your resume need to have a format that favors you. One of the absolute fruchtwein important design choices that can be made on your resume is your font. When formatting your resume, keep in mind that it has to be readable and tasteful. The Fight Against Good Resume Writing Com Youve got a lot greater likelihood of receiving an interview if your resume highlights the important skills required for that specific vacancy. The aim of your resume is to secure you the interview. The notion of getting another person to compose your CV can be somewhat daunting, but clearly beneficial. Resume writing A great resume is the very first step towards acquiring a job. Employing a professional resume writer is a worthwhile investment and might even prove to be among the best decisions in your career. Career coaching is quite useful in helping graduates narrow the prospective career paths. You must commit time into each application and make sure that your resume is tailored to every employer and the job which youre applying to. If so, your resume can nevertheless be quantified, and provide the hiring manager a concrete idea of the reach of your abilities and abilities. There are lots of basic kinds of resumes used to make an application for job openings. Make certain it will match with the necessary skill thats needed by the recruiter of the organization. Take a look at the work vacancy for which you wish to apply and note the essential skills required. Resume writing is the most significant step in presenting your abilities and receiving the job that you desire. Writing in complete sentences will make you be descriptive. Writing a good resume is quite essential for securing work. Basically, writing skills really make a difference in the way you encounter. Language skills are sometimes a fantastic selling point on your resume. The Key to Successful Good Resume Writing Com There are many ways to compose an effective resume. Know the purpose of your resume Some people today write a resume like the intention of the document was supposed to land work. Understanding how to tailor your resume will obviously offer you an advantage. To most of the folks, resume objective is simply part of the resume.

The Resume Icons Png Diaries

The Resume Icons Png Diaries Writing work application is normally an intimidating issue. Resumes can be used for a number of reasons, but most often theyre utilised to create new work. Functional resumes are excellent for featuring transferable skills which will be appropriate to your new area of work. Its iverstndigung im strafverfahren for a professional who works in social networking or internet marketing. A visual resume is best for bringing an interview or posting on your private website. Presenting your information visually will help you distinguish yourself from the crowd. Hopefully, you presently have a strong site, either a personal portfolio or your freelance business website. The Advantages of Resume Icons Png Creative Tail curates tischsets that you might not landsee anywhere else. The Ashley template includes a distinctive social networking contact section. Your resume summary is among the most crucial sections of your resume. A lovely, minimal and user-friendl y template you may edit depending on your abilities and experience. Selecting the right resume template can be hard. Minimal and very simple to utilize CV template. The End of Resume Icons Png You are able to change the colors if you want. Time to present your resume a small amount of a makeover. Resume icons are merely a single approach to make your resume stand out from the other applicants and organize it in a manner that is reasonable. The most suitable format presents your work history and techniques in the greatest possible light. Theres nobody on Earth earth whos born with no talent, its within our bone marrow, we simply have to realize it and once we know that which we are good at, we eventually attempt to polish it and attempt to find it thoroughly. Since the decision is so vast, we chose to make life a bit easier by picking out the choicest few. Theres not anything wrong with volunteering particularly if its going to provide you with the fundamental skills necess ary for the next profession move. Add a diamond in only a few crucial places or three across to demonstrate that youre continuing on to a new topic. The Battle Over Resume Icons Png and How to Win It In the telephone icon set above, you may also add a dash of color to your resume. If you find an icon youd love to use on a commercial project, you will pay a one-time fee. If youve been struggling to discover the ideal icon to use, then look no moreYou dont need to be a graphic designer to create an attractive infographic. The plan is still organized and simple to read a fantastic illustration of balancing creativity with readability. It is possible to easily edit all the panels within the plan. Massive selection of design style will guarantee you will get a resume template that fits with your taste. Business cards are also included to finish the look. There free many selections out there that you customize your resume. Free for personal and industrial use. Select the ideal package for your requirements. The Basic Facts of Resume Icons Png You can pick from three different types of icons. Along with fonts, you will find over 50 icon fonts that are simple to use while you download and install on your PC. The icons are offered for both personal and commercial work, without the necessity of any attribution. Free icon sets for the cost of attribution, Dreamstale presents premium high quality icons. Freepik is an immense resource with a good deal more than just icons. This website is stuffed with absolutely free icon sets for all corners of the web. 1 collection can have up to 256 icons if youre a registered user or 50 if youre not registered. Not everyone tags their icons properly on Dribbble, so youre going to want to take your time to get the ideal asset. Getting the Best Resume Icons Png A good deal of the layouts are given by called, resume producing specialists and therefore the item quality is pretty excellent. The entire selection of res ume templates is made up of an array of creative resume designs. A number of the templates are free while others cost a couple of dollars. Most of our Resume Templates can be found in various color schemes to give you better editing opportunities. Downloads can be found in a number of sizes and file formats. All artwork and text is completely customizable. All artwork and text are wholly customizable.

Im Changing Careers. What Should My Resume Say

Im Changing Careers. What Should My Resume SayIm Changing Careers. What Should My Resume SayEmbarking on a new career path can be simultaneously exciting and slightly scary. Its wonderful to be sparked by a fresh idea or new awakened desire. Theres a sense of accomplishment when you finish an advanced degree or earn a professional certification related to your new career.But theres also plenty of uncertainty, particularly when it comes to how to position this change on your resume. The things you showcased on your resume up to this point will simply not be enough to move you smoothly into this next stage. You need to reposition your resume so that it tells the story of why you are targeting something new and different, as well as why you are the candidate who brings the fruchtwein value to the table. Following are three steps to make sure your resume gets the attention of the decision makers in the new field youre targeting.Read All About ItToo often, I see this step happening last, if at all. Find ads online for the job title you want, and read a cross-section of those ads to identify the common points theyre looking for. What youre doing is compiling audience insights. Your audience is comprised of the employers, and in the ads, theyre laying out exactly what youll need to do if you come work for them.Make The Connections Make SenseIn your career change resume, you have to tell the story of your transferrable skills and explain how qualifications from your previous career are applicable and relevant. But dont make a key mistake here. Avoid the tendency to rely on imposter skills like, motivated, passionate, organized, and detail-oriented. Those words are adjectives that describe a person, which are nice, but not necessary.The transferrable skills to emphasize when youre changing careers need to focus on what you actually will come into the new job to DO that you have done before in your original career. For example, lets say youve just earned an MBA with a co ncentration in Project Management. Your original career consisted of a series of increasingly responsible office administration roles. What would make sense to your audience would be examples of projects youve led over the course of your career up to this point. I virtually guarantee those examples exist you just need to think about them and reframe them.Dont Get Too CreativeYoure already changing so much new career path, new educational or professional credentials, so why not change the whole style of your resume on top of that? Right? Wrong. Dont get overly creative with the resume because you read somewhere that a functional format is the way to go. 98% of recruiters and decision makers will tell you they do not favor the functional format.Keep things chronological this is the tried and true format for a reason it tells the reader exactly what he needs to know in the first 6 seconds. Any other configuration, such as a nebulous list of out-of-context skills at the top an experie nce section that says a lot of things except for the employer, job title, and dates and then the actual work history at the endnot good, not effective, and it wont work.The functional format is the biggest red flag that youre just trying to hide something, and that something is lack of needed skills. Instead, read the ads to find the keywords the employers in your new field are looking for, map your transferrable skills to those keywords in ways that make sense, and frame your story in the format most employers expect. Those are the steps to making sure your resume gets read when youre making a career change.Positioning your resume the right way is just the 1st step in successfully changing careers, especially when youre over age 50. Im presenting a series of ideas that you can use if youre having trouble in your job search, and youre thinking it may because of age discrimination. Its in 5 Secrets Smart Jobseekers Age 50+ Know That Make The Job Search EASY

Why Sheryl Sandberg personalizes notes and how it can help

Why Sherbeiyl Sandberg personalizes notes and how it can helpWhy Sheryl Sandberg personalizes notes and how it can helpMeeting one-on-one with your manager is a special time for employees to feel personally and professionally supported. Its where relationships can be won or lost. Employees with supportive bosses who take the time to make employees feel heard are the ones that feel more valued by their employer and are less likely to leave.Its why making time to meet about employees progress is so important. You want to address issues before they become bigger problems, and you want to do it in a space that gives employees your full attention. But when you manage a large team, it gets harder to keep track of your employees shifting moods and needs on a regular basis. If you need advice on how to do it right, take it from Sheryl Sandberg.How to use note-taking to your advantage in aone-on-oneIn a Wall Street Journal profile on how the embattled Facebook COO is moving forward in the wak e of the Cambridge Analyticas privacy scandal, Sandbergs forthright management style was highlighted as a plus from those who have worked with her.David Fischer, Facebooks vice president for business and marketing partnerships, told the Journal that in their two decades of working together, she has gone through I dont know how many thousands of these little notebooks that fit nicely in the palm of your hand, he said. She has lists for each person as well as herself so when I go in and have my one-on-one with her later today, she will flip to my name and there will be a platzdeckchen of issues. Its effective.By regularly documenting her interactions with each of her employees, Sandberg signals that she is taking their concerns seriously. And by doing it regularly, she has more data to analyze. Notes of what happened at the moment when you discussed X and Y are going to be more effective than you remembering that same interaction a month later.This detailed recall is why note-taking i s a habit that is extolled by business experts and former FBI officials. It forces you to pay attention beyond what was said and can let you document body language and tone while the memory is fresh. And the act of writing it down may help you more than you typing it up because longhand notes allow us to recall more complex information than typed-up notes.The biggest benefit of these notes is that it holds both parties accountable. Meetings do not matter if nothing gets done. Notes are written proof of what is working and what is not. By documenting a set of issues for each of her employees, Sandberg is showing her commitment to keeping up with their progress. Thats the goal of the one-on-one. Doc Norton, software consultant expert, emails action items after one-on-ones so everyone is on the same page as to what was discussed and agreed upon.Ultimately nothing is more important than ensuring your employees growth, he wrote. As you start the next session, you should have at least an update, if not a resolve on each of your action items. This consistent show of commitment builds trust and ensures growth for the employee.

How TV News Has Evolved in the Past 50 Years

How TV berichterstattung Has Evolved in the Past 50 YearsHow TV News Has Evolved in the Past 50 YearsTurn on the 600 berichterstattungcast any time during the past 50 years, and youre likely to find coverage of house fires, court cases, and political races. But beyond the headlines, TV news history is filled with many changes. Below, well chart the evolution of broadcasting by taking a look at TV news history over the past 50 years to decide whether all the new equipment and ways of presenting the news truly make for a better broadcast. TV News History in the 1960s In the old black-and-white days of television, those who worked in TV news usually had backgrounds in radio or newspapers. A television news broadcast welches hampered because it didnt have the reputation of newspaper journalism, nor was it able to compete with live, on-the-scene reporting of radio due to the lack of portable equipment. But TV news grew up quickly with the Kennedy assassination. That event was so signi ficant. Its one of the 12 events that changed TV news coverage forever. TV news executives had to figure out a way to get live video, film, totenstill photographs, any image, from the scene in Dallas, Texas, to the network studios to be transmitted to the nation. The customary practice of having a newsman (there were no women) simply reading a script on camera from New York or Washington wouldnt be enough. That event showed people at the networks and at affiliate stations throughout the country that TV news history would be made through pictures and video. That seems obvious today, but 50 years ago, there was no easy way to produce television from the scene of news events. Stories from the Vietnam War were days old before they reached American living rooms. Live coverage of parades or other planned events took large trucks and cameras that had to be set up hours ahead of time. Satellites werent around to send video around the world in an instant. TV News History in the 1970s A n ew decade brought many breakthroughs to television news. Viewers were seeing people other than white men delivering their news as stations and networks added women and people of other races to their staffs. Barbara Walters made TV news history when she joined Harry Reasoner at ABC to become the first woman to co-anchor a network newscast. For local stations, a trend began to have news teams presenting the news, rather than just a man behind a simple desk. In the age of color TV, a lot of money was spent on anchor desks, news music, logo design, and news promotion. Show business started having an influence on the news at both the local and national levels. Consultants were often hired to conduct market research. The focus shifted to bringing people information they wanted to see, versus what they needed to know. Thats one reason local TV newscasts started looking the same, regardless of whether you were watching in Denver, Dallas or Detroit. Based on research, stations decided their anchor teams needed to be warm, friendly and funny, which began an era that some call happy talk. The banter between team members became critical in developing a relationship with the viewers, so the anchorman poking fun at the weathermans necktie was encouraged to lighten up the show. During this decade, videotape began replacing film, which made it easier to get images on the air faster. Also, live microwave trucks allowed local stations to go live from the scene at a moments notice. Some stations covered ribbon cuttings, and other light news events live, to show they could and to justify the expense of purchasing this gear. TV News History in the 1980s The 1980s also reflected how TV news consulting firms changed TV news history. They convinced network and station executives that there was mora to present than just typical news, weather, and sports. News organizations sought to make viewers lives better. That included health and consumer reporting to help people live longer a nd save money. No longer were newscasts dependent on the days events for content. These reports, called franchises, were usually heavily promoted as a way to differentiate a newscast from the competition. Critics usually blast local stations for putting style over substance, but that charge can also be made at the network level. When the iconic Walter Cronkite retired from anchoring the CBS Evening News in 1981, he was replaced by Dan Rather, who was known for his hard-hitting reports on the networks 60 Minutes program. There was a period that Rather began wearing sweaters on the air under his suit jacket, some say to warm up his persona. This decade saw the introduction of computers to many newsrooms, which made everything from finding archived stories to the mayors home phone number easier. Networks and some stations even added satellite newsgathering trucks, which allowed them to drive across country to beam back news reports. As with the introduction of microwave trucks in the 1 970s, stations looked for any reason to use this equipment, even driving hundreds of miles to cover hurricanes that didnt threaten their local coverage area. TV News History in the 1990s For the networks, the 1990s were the years of the newsmagazine. While viewers were already familiar with 60 Minutes and ABCs 20/20, other similar shows started popping up on network schedules as a cheaper alternative to scripted entertainment programming. ABCs Primetime Live (which premiered in late-1989), NBCs Dateline NBC and CBSs Eye to Eye with Connie Chung are just a few examples from this period. Many of the newsmagazines fought to make names for themselves by turning to investigative reporting, which produced controversy. Dateline NBC was forced to apologize after airing an inaccurate report on alleged pickup truck fires. ABCs Primetime Live took heat for the way it reported a story about a supermarket chains food-handling practices. Some local stations turned away from the family-oriente d health and consumer reporting to hard-hitting, tabloid-style investigations. Logos were designed to be bigger, bolder to attract the attention of viewers, who now had dramatically more programs to watch other than newscasts thanks to cable TV. President Bill Clintons sex scandal involving Monica Lewinsky was a story tailor-made for this period. Still, most newscasters cringed at having to repeat the details that nearly brought down the president. With the Internet starting to become a part of Americans homes, news organizations developed their first email systems and websites to communicate with the public in a new way. They didnt know then about the computer revolution that would challenge their dominance as news providers. TV News History in the 2000s Market research and technology took a back seat to old-fashioned reporting during the 2000s, because of two events the presidential election of 2000 and the 9/11 terrorist attacks of 2001. Suddenly, anchor set design and sex sc andal coverage became trivial. The 2000 U.S. Presidential election was not a made-for-tv event like a space shuttle launch or a hurricane, yet television executives had no choice but to cover it. The mundane collection and recounting of Florida ballots may not have made for captivating programming, but the future of the presidency was at stake. TV news helped Americans understand the Electoral College and other long-forgotten aspects of our election system. The 9/11 terrorist attacks by themselves changed TV news in ways that could not have been predicted. Anchors found themselves having to simultaneously report the bad news while trying to provide some reassurance to the viewers. Newsrooms that heard about rumors of further terrorist action had to decide whether they should report what they knew or wait to get the facts. Website development allowed video stories to be posted easily, which presented its dilemma. News organizations had to choose whether to put stories on the Internet immediately to beat their competitors or hold off until after their on-air broadcasts so that their viewership didnt suffer. TV News History in the 2010s This decade has brought so many technological changes that its hard to determine what viewers want from a TV newscast. There are so many choices in where to get information that sitting down to watch the 600 p.m. news is rapidly becoming a habit of generations past with little relevance to todays news consumers. TV newsrooms are changing their priorities to become information providers across a variety of platforms. Websites are only part of the delivery system. Facebook, Twitter and other forms of social media have become important ways to reach potential viewers where theyre hanging out. Mobile devices, from cell phones to tablet computers, are forcing strategy to be developed to reach people on the go. Its easy to assume that traditional TV news wont survive much longer. But the successful stations and networks can boost th eir odds of being around through the decades by focusing on what has gotten them to this point, solid, accurate reporting that isnt influenced by outside sources, creative visual presentations, and credible TV personalities who form long-lasting relationships with their audiences.

How to Stop Perfectionism From Running Your Life

How to Stop Perfectionism From Running Your LifeHow to Stop Perfectionism From Running Your LifeIn an interview between Oprah and Dr. Bren Brown, vulnerability researcher and storyteller, the following words were exchangedPeople who are walking around as perfectionists are ultimately afraid that the world is going to see them for who they really are and that they wont measure up. Though Id been living this way since my eager childhood, only recently did I place the behavior. The quest to please, the self-imposed pressure to amount to something, the colossal hatred toward living in learning curves, the fear of change and starting. It left me clinging to instant gratification, praise, and results like lifelines- and I wanted all of them, all the time, without fully extending myself.I never really had to. School and all those miscellaneous extracurricular activities that padded my college applications (I mean, made me well-rounded) required mindestens effort. And with (relative) success reinforcing my actions, the patterns continued. I went into college and the workforce with this deep-seated drive to be the best. Consequently, I was regularly pulled under by nauseating bouts of the never enoughs. Predictable as a carousel, they spun me backward and kept me down. Until I finally did something about it.First, lets examine my inflection point. I was 22 years old with a big girl job and a heavy dose of grief from losing my father. At work, though, I compartmentalized and consistently achieved and overachieved- to the point that even my dreams were seized and conquered by work-related themes. One morning, I sent my boss a very important deliverable- one that I poured my heart and free time into. When the workday ended at 6 PM, I heard notlagehing. No feedback, no acknowledgement, no comments or energetic high-five. I blew it.You knew you werent ready for this responsibility, and now your boss thinks youre a careless, hurried hammer with nothing but a bucket of bad ide as and poor spreadsheet management. Shell probably have to redo the entire thing. Did you even proofread it? Youre a joke- 15 other girls could do your job better than you.Of course, one day later, the response came. Rave reviews. The low was lifted, but I sunk with immaturity.I wish this were a lie. I wish I were as secure in my abilities then as I am now, but for perfectionists, self-doubt is a deeply engrained behavior. I feel lucky, though, that this particular episode started an avalanche of introspection and change. That person, crippled by intense worry, was not who I wanted to be. So with courage and active practice I started to work out the kinks. Here are the manageable steps I took, and that you can too, to take strides away from perfectionism. Do a Reality CheckWhen my inner critic gets in a shouting match with reason, and self-doubt begins to bubble over reality, I make efforts to keep myself in check. I do that with this series of questionsAre my thoughts factual, or a re they my interpretations?Am I jumping to negative conclusions?Is this situation as bad as Im making it out to be?Whats the worst thing that could happen? How likely is that to happen?Will this matter in five years? At the pivotal moments of my life (read moving abroad or childbirth), will this moment actually matter?By the end of it, Ive either forgotten what started my funk or come to realize that I was building elaborate falsities in my mind while awaiting validation. As perfectionists, we have a tendency to play the starring role in countless self-doubt sagas and confuse compliments for deep, authentic sources of self-esteem and inner peace. This reality test simultaneously makes us accountable for our own reassurance and less dependent on others for positive reinforcement.Practice Radical Self-AcceptancePerfectionists tend to be critical of others. Its a defense mechanism that causes us to reject in others what we cant accept in ourselves, and the more we pick at our shortcomi ngs, the more we fixate on those of the people around us. These strong feelings come from idealizing the perfect person and life, and its a menacing filter we cant seem to lift off of reality. To kick this habit in the jaw, we must be kind to ourselves. When we like ourselves, even our flaws and imperfections, were much less likely to be grumpy pricks who hold everyone under a microscope. So every morning, I tell myself something I love about myself. The subject can be as simple as my morning Medusa hair, or as complex as my love language. Whatever it is that I choose, I choose it for the day, and I repeat it when I feel I need that boost. I repeat it and I believe it, and practicing that radical self-love beats the hell out of the alternative of living a hard-hearted, locked-down, and unforgiving life. Create and Trigger RitualsAs perfectionists, were afraid of so many things. Starting new projects, making the wrong life decision, choosing a partner- and each of them share this com mon denominator fear of failing. It makes us indecisive and reliant on others to guide. To combat such submissive behavior, we have to cultivate the habit of refusing to let fear dictate our every move- a trick I learned from professional athletes. As Twyla Tharp illustrates in The Creative Habit Learn It and Use It For Life A pro golfer may walk along the fairway chatting with his caddie, his playing partner, a friendly official or scorekeeper, but when he stands behind the ball and takes a deep breath, he has signaled to himself its time to concentrate. A basketball player comes to the free-throw line, touches his socks, his shorts, receives the ball, bounces it exactly three times, and then he is ready to rise and shoot, exactly as hes done a hundred times a day in practice. By making the start of the sequence automatic, they replace doubt and fear with comfort and routine. As for my progress, its triggered by a 19th century Russian and a cold glass of water. Whenever I feel the stuffed and helpless inability to start, I play in my mind something Tchaikovsky once saidA self-respecting artist must not fold his hands on the pretext that he is not in the mood. And with a tall glass of cool clarity, I swallow my fear of starting and begin. Laundry, health goals, sketches, writing, music- no different, one from the other. I replace self-doubt with self-respect and march on, blunting the fear of failure.Lower the StakesConstantly basking in the glow of anticipation, we put so much pressure on ourselves to have fun- no, the most fun thats ever been had in the history of fun-having. Its too much. Its unreasonable to place those demands on ourselves, and we end up bitterly emerging from events and get-togethers, giving off the impression that we have someplace better to be, with people who are far more interesting. Its bad form and has the potential to destroy relationships. So, lower the freaking stakes. Notice when youre pouting or disengaged. Notice when youre th e only one not laughing, or when youre frantically pressing patterned napkins instead of enjoying your guests and the party youre hosting. Theres fun to be had, but you have to allow yourself to let it in.I know because Ive shunned it before. Attached to doing everything, and doing it perfectly, Ive watched leisure hours kurze unterhose away as I became totally absorbed in my tasks. And what room does that leave for love and lying around in happy messes? None. My personal relationships suffered until I learned not to take the maxims for success as absolutes. Ridding should from my vocabulary helped, too. It was an eye-opening experience, realizing how often I felt burdened by the 18 things I should be doing instead of being at a friends bonfire. What things should be or look like. The self-recriminations slowed as I lowered my unobtainable standards, and eventually I didnt need to be an eight-packed runner with a 401(k) and a book deal to know my worth. Now, I tell myself So what? a nd move right along to celebrate my friends, loves, and self.Grieve Unrealized DreamsFew of us end up becoming what we sketched out in crayons when we were five God knows Im no dentist-astronaut hybrid. Instead, were broke or baristas or barely spending enough time with our families because we work too much. Whoever we are, its unlikely that were who we thought wed be. And perfectionists, in particular, need to come to terms with that. Since we struggle with these notions of not being enough or never amounting to anything, we need to find consistent comfort in our skin and pride in our accomplishments. So keep a list. Write down what youve accomplished this week, month, or year, and see your worth come alive on paper. Its simple, and I swear by it. That deep-cleaned kitchen glowing from your elbow grease, the book you finished, your brown-bag lunches- they count You made those things happen. All of them. And theyve been accomplished despite the fact that youre not the ballerina-mari ne biologist your toddler-self thought youd be.Like any change, taming perfectionist tendencies requires self-examination and trust. It also demands that you dont take yourself too seriously or beat yourself up if you meet a stretch in the road without forward motion. Care for yourself in the process, and know that the only person stopping you from emulating and adopting admiral behavior is you.Photo of woman courtesy of Shutterstock.